a significant other she did seek

Who married a man who was Greek

Was Once a Greek perhaps now a sheikh

Hold it right there you lot!!! Do you not know how a limerick works?? 🤔

Read carefully....

The second line should rhyme with the first line...
The the third line should rhyme with the fourth line...
And the fifth line (the last) should rhyme with the first line!!
How hard can it be?lol

Off we go again then.....

There was an old man from Surrey...

There was an old lady from Leek,
Who dated a man that was Greek,
He offered Mousaka,
Waved his aubergine at her,
So she gave him a slap for his cheek!

Yey! Steve knows how it should be done😋

Where were we.....

There was an old man from Surrey
Who ate an enormous chicken curry....

His stomach churned,

In a flash he then turned
And departed the scene in a hurry

There was a young lady from Bath....

Who searched and searched for the path.....

She looked here and there...

then went up the stair

slipped, and tore her right calf.

or .... slipped, and started to laugh.

No, I know it isn't quite right, and neither is laugh - there is assonance though. 🤔

slipped and started to laff 😀
Is misspelling to force a rhyme allowed? 🤔

😮 I think we speak English down here 😀
... tripped, and fell in the hearth ... is the best I can think of. 🤔

😀 Well done Site Admin!

... but you've still got the 'f' sound instead of 'th'

... we pronounce 'bath' and 'path' as 'barth' and 'parth' 🤔

M1960: Press [F5] on your keyboard for new Emojis 😀👍

He considered himself a 'real' man,

Nothing to apologise for S.A.M. - are we using long or short vowel sounds for this one? 😂😂

Billy climbed into his camper
As the weather was turning much damper 🌧

Sorry Site Admin, you beat me to it

I wondered why I hadn't got the same Emojis - I thought it might be due to my archaic computer! 😮

😂😂😂

Shall I start again?lol

There was a tall walker from Wales....

who liked to tell a tall tale

who went out looking for snails ...

Sorry Walking On - I was too slow again!😮

He espied a whale's tail...

😂

There was an old rascal from Nott’s...

Who was guilty of many strange plots ...

he sneaked and he peeked

Until he reeked...

And his lies just tied him in knots.

Of the mischief he had made, there was lots!!!

Hahaha mi Dale

Aw man Ruby, you just bet me to the last line !!!!!

❤

There once was a hiker from Hull....

who on mountaintops often would mull

He wobbled along....

which was snatched off his bits by a gull

There once was a chap from Chinley!😉.....

Who had a dog called Finlay...

And boy she did nothing but talk...

So they filled up her mouth with a cork.

A spritely young chap from Dunkirk...

Gatepostgazer: I thought you'd written two lines in one - the rhyming scheme is AABBA:
There once was a woman from York,
And boy she did nothing but talk,
From morning till night,
Her jaw never stayed tight,
So they filled up her mouth with a cork.

I was thinking of:

From morning till night,
And again at first light,

but you beat me to it!

😂

A spritely young chap from Dunkirk,
Said to himself with a smirk ...

“I’m watching you closely....

...and 'cos you're here mostly...

👍😂

A spritely young Chap from Dunkirk,
Said to himself with a smirk,
'If I go out today,
And roll in the hay,
Then I'll look an absolute berk.'

I've had another go at a couple of the earlier ones:

There was an old rascal from Nott's,
Who was guilty of many strange plots,
He invented a pill,
To make people ill,
So they came out covered in spots.

Or …
He told all his mates
To fasten their gates,
And then he glued up all the locks.

There was a chap from Chinley,
Who had a dog called Finlay,
For a visit to pay,
They did walk a long way,
As his friends were spread rather thinly.

Let's have a go at:

A naughty young lady from Bangor ...

You're obviously as warped as I am! 😂😂

(Sorry, I missed out 'once' @ 14:14 - There once was a chap from Chinley,)

A naughty young lady from Bangor,
Was on the sofa in a state of languor,
She lifted her arm....

😮😂

She exposed a long scar,
When she took off her bra ...

Or ...

She lifted her arm,
Which caused great alarm ...

I'll finish off the clean version:

She lifted her arm,
Which caused great alarm,
But managed to bottle her anger.

Gatepostgazer clearly doesn't care about the rhyming, as long as there are some tits involved (👍😂😂😂 ... I'm laughing so much I can hardly type 😂😂)

M1960: I do love your enthusiasm...😀....but could you just calm down a bit & stop getting carried away!....please!😀
Give other folks a chance to join in & add their own lines.👍
Ta muchly,
T.🙂
P.S please keep it clean & non offensive folks!

?? Apart from the last one (which I tried to rescue after it had gone haywire 😮😂, and still has a version to be completed), I didn't contribute more than one line to any of them (although I did write alternative versions for some after they were finished). A lot of the others had multiple contributions – but not from me!
Are bras and tits any worse than thongs and bits? 😮 (that rhymes!) - keep smiling everyone.🙂

It may be best if we don’t mention body parts (like above), as I don’t want anyone getting into trouble.
☹

And I AM 😀😀!

Very good!😀

Yes, very good S.A.M.😀 Actually, you could reasonably claim that you had (very cleverly) finished it yesterday, before I restored the rhyming scheme. It was the fact that Gatepostgazer's line didn't rhyme that made it so funny! 😂😂

There was a good thread on the forum

That lacked in the way of decorum....😂

But most said OK
To a little risque
We certainly don't want to bore 'em

👍😂😂

There was a bald man that lived in a van..

Who liked to be outside getting a tan..

The ladies would swoon.....

The ladies would swoon,
When he sang them a tune,
And they wished he would show them his organ (or-gan).

(Hello Dale, it's me again 😮)

Let’s try that again....

There was a bald man who lived in a van.
Who liked to be outside getting a tan,
The ladies would swoon,
From midnight til noon,
As they wafted themselves with a fan!

Miss T: at least you never missed a line out 😃

New rule folks....

Only ONE line per person per limerick!😋😀
And no changing someone else’s lines!😋😀

There once was froggy named Fred...

oops...
There once was A froggy named Fred....

Each night he was grateful for bed

Unlike the others he was not nocturnal

But uniquely diurnal

Tautology said Fred !

Philtheetiler: Exactly! 😂

(Sorry for changing your line yesterday, S.A.M - very rude of me. 👎☹)

Are alternative versions allowed after a Limerick has been completed, Miss T (not posted in the middle of one which is being constructed of course), or is that being naughty? 😮

e.g. Fred the Froggy v2

There once was a froggy named Fred,
Who one night collapsed into bed,
Exhausted from jumping,
And far too much humping, (carrying heavy objects 😇)
He was lucky not to be dead!

Oops... limerick, not Limerick ...

Yes, it’s ok to post alternatives after a limerick has been completed 🙂 ...but could you pleeease stop with the smut/innuendo now, as other members are finding it offensive....& that’s the last thing I wanted when I started this thread.☹
Thank you.

Apologies to anyone I have offended ☹- there was little on the thread on Monday to suggest that I had done or would do (in fact, rather to the contrary: 🙂 'There was a good thread on the forum' / 'But most said OK To a little risque' / 'Perfect John!') and nobody has messaged me about it, but it's Miss T's thread and I'll withdraw from it now before I cause any more trouble. 😮

I don't contribute to the site very often (which is probably just as well!) and I don't need it to entertain me now any more than I do normally.

COVID-19 has made very little difference to me (sad old git that I am) as I'm retired, live on my own, rarely have visitors, and normally go out only for shopping and a daily walk on my local roads. I'm therefore very lucky, because I'm going to find the lock-down much easier to cope with than most people will - even if they stop us going out for exercise, it won't bother me much as I'll just do some extra indoors on my stationary bike, which is my main form of exercise (pain😮) these days in any case.

But a lot of you are probably going to need people both to create threads and keep them going to help stave off the boredom over the coming weeks, so do help yourself and/or others by getting involved - well done to those who already have. 👍

I've never sent anyone on this site a lewd private message. I don't join many invites (and will now probably never dare show my face again!) but I hope anyone I've walked with would say that they didn't find me lewd (I'm actually nervous and a poor communicator in company) - who knows, I may see some of you somewhere at sometime after we're through this. 🙂

I hope I may have made some of you smile 🙂(along with those who contributed with the thong, bits and bra 😮😂), and to those I have offended I apologise once again. ☹ Try to keep your spirits up over the coming weeks, everyone.🙂