Would you give everything up for the right person ?
by Rick and Viv's AdventuresNow that I have been on OD for just over a week and started looking through a lot of the profiles and I have found that quite a majority are quite some distance away.
Thought I would ask the question if you were to find your ideal partner on OD which one of you would give everthing up to be with them?
I know its a silly question but its an interesting one.
Posted on 26/04/13
98 Comment(s)

In a heartbeat Yes.
ADAlly & DaveWhat is the "Right Person"?? and do you have to give everything up? surely it's 2 people coming together, so you should be gaining. Think maybe only people who haven't found what they are looking for ask that question. If it is "right" you won't even think about it. You've started something here Rick!
on 13/03/13 @ 16:40YES.😀
jwjw19Interesting question....
on 13/03/13 @ 16:44Will get some very interesting replies
What do you think AR....
Give up your job, friends, move away from the kids....Hmmmmm for what we all know is a gamble !!!!
dadavemGood question !
Well just to answer my own question, yes I would.🙂
RaRick and Viv's AdventuresLife's full of risks surely this one is worth taking?🙂
ADAlly & DaveNot to sound a pesimist, as its unlikely, its not something I have to think about!!!🙂
mimilvusBless ya Milvus🙂
ADAlly & DaveGood answer Ally, I'm with you on that one.🙂
RaRick and Viv's AdventuresI did, it didn't work out, my most favourite saying "life's like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get"
scscalliesNo point in thinking what if - just eat the chocolates and find out 🙂🙂🙂
Well like Forrest said scallies "i just kept on walking" and your on the right site for that 🙂
FlForever lostIt maybe something you can't answer until those circumstances occur, then hopefully make all the right decisions.
MMMadMagI'm stocking up on Rolos 😀
No relationship will work unless you are prepared to risk being hurt and that sometimes requires you to take a chance. If you aren't prepared to commit to a relationship, to gamble, then you will never be emotionally fulfilled. Whats the phrase: tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. I trusted and was willing to give up my home, friendships and start a new life in a new place because of love and I would do it again. All life is passion otherwise whats the point?😀
ScScoutYou're absolutely right Scout. Hindsight is a wonderful thing - it colours our percieved judgement after the fact.
Are you actually giving anything up if it's what you want?
I would repeat the 23 years I had even knowing what I know now because they were good years because I was living in the moment blissfully unware. They were happy and good at the time so they can't be anything else in hindsight. Hindsight is looking at it from the outside not looking at it from the inside
Oooh there's some very good thoughtfull comments on here, agree with you miss Mcbunn.😀
jwjw19Ooh I think I may be a cynical embittered old hag compared to you lovely people. But I had a long hard battle for my independence, I am proud of what I have achieved on my own and I would be very reluctant to give that independence up. Would love to meet that special person, but perhaps if I had to give everything up that might mean he wasn't the right person after all. On the other hand, if I did meet that special person maybe I'd change my mind completely. I guess til it happens it's difficult to say....
PDPear Drop (Sarah)Some very good answers, words of wisdom and philosophy have come out of this thread so far which has more or less answered my question. Its good to see that most of you are willing to give it up for that one person and that has inspired me with a bit more confidence that some is out there no matter what the distance is and as mentioned above I definetely would.🙂🙂
RaRick and Viv's AdventuresYou're not cynical Sarah68 When we are no longer a couple we fight to survive and regain that part of ourselves we thought we'd lost or let die. That effects the way we think now. To achieve indepenence and survive the fall out makes us wary that's all - but for "love", most would risk it again but not just for any old thing that's for sure. 🙂
I agree TMiW. A relationship requires that we give of ourselves willingly and if you give to the wrong person you become vulnerable and when it falls away you have to build again, making sure that what you build is stronger than it was before and something that you like. The trick is to ensure that the next time you choose more carefully and don't compromise who you are. The where you are doesnt really matter if you get that bit right
ScScoutTMIW - I love your point about hindsight. It's easy to think that the happy times were all a sham or a waste when things go wrong, but nobody can take away the happiness we had at the time. Have you read "The Reader"? There's a lovely passage in that which says much the same thing, it was very thought provoking when I read it not long after I became single after 20 years, and quite comforting.
PDPear Drop (Sarah)Perhaps I'm just more certain now about what I want, and less willing to settle for second best. Hopefully my Mr Right will turn up and convince me that love is still worth a shot at 🙂🙂
Oooh by the comments ladies we've all been through it but we've also come out the other side too so defintely be proud of that! 🙂
That goes for the guys too. 🙂
When I find my piece of the jigsaw in this mess I call a life then mine is a 'yes'...but for now im happy living, learning and hving fun along the way 😀
WiWiggyOur lives are for ever changing, jobs, friends we meet, our families growing and moving on. True friends and your family will always be there no matter the distance. Even within a relationship you should never lose who you are.
MoMorningdawnLiked milvus's comment, made me laugh, so I'm not the only 1 who thinks like that, so there's properly loads of pessimists out their. Can 2 pessimists become optimists?:~
SDSteveDHMaybe we should set up an OD commune. That way we could all live happily ever after,Laughing till we die. 😀😀
MoMorningdawnAs much as possible it's important to not have regrets, so in response to the question, I would wish for everyone to experience those feelings and to share them with that someone special.
fS'Summit for a Weekendaday'What does giving up everything mean though? Material things, then yes in a heartbeat, life's rarely straight forward though,children, No.
Real love hath no fear 🙂🙂🙂 & if it's meant to be it will all work itself out anyhowz... we just need to sit back,enjoy & allow life to unfold in it's own perfect way as it always does 🙂 p.s. liking the comment morningdawn ha!!!
LMLittle Miss Sunshine (Max)For me my children have always come first and always will and as the wise Miss Mcbunnie once said 'no compromise'
JWJWAccepted that staying single was how it would have to be despite meeting some lovely ladies along the way. If I wasn't willing to compromise wouldn't be right to expect someone else to have to.
The good news is have been seeing soneone local for 10 months now and life is sweet, never saw that one coming. So guess we never know what is around the corner.
I totally agree with Johnwalking and M_Mcbunnie, my son always comes first, that's why I cannot go all walking/camping trips. Even 'no compromise', if I were to meet someone, he is well fits or willing to change his current lifestyle, I am happy to accept and willing to take him in my place, I mean where I live. To much pressure or too good to offer???
wawalklovemysonYour children are always your children small or grown up nobody can take that away from you. I guess we're all a little wary of trusting and having that trust broken because if we were not, we wouldn't have to ask the question!
Am I missing something? surely if you meet the "right one" then you shouldn't have to give up everything (or much of anything for that matter). How you both arrange your life to fit around your new found 'love' is a whole other thing and should be a compromise which causes least disruption. If you give up everything are you still going to be you???
BGBustaGut (Grant)As you say Bustagut, if they're the one, what exactly are you giving up?
Surely you don't have to give anything up if the person you meet is the one for you. A relationship and all it has to offer has got to be about compromise and even then a relationship can fail for a variety of reasons even if you think that you've met your ideal partner.I suppose Relationships are to a certain extent a gamble, but if you don't take that risk you'll never know.
AMAndy-MNo I love my family and friends too much.:~
UJUltreia (Jo & Alan)agree with Ally in a heartbeat, straightway
Clearly reading some of these comments, there are a few of us who's fingers are still burnt, but that's what we get from playing with fire! 🙂
mimilvusYes have been burned a few times & have the scars, then when I maybe meet the one......I bottle it & run cos I'm scared to take the risk again :~☹
BJBlue JohnI think a lot of us can relate to that BJ.... Respect for being up front !!!
dadavemIt is very hard to trust again BJ and trust is very fragile once you've been hurt once let alone a few times but if you are afraid to expose yourself, whether it be to love or new experiences or the risk of being hurt or rejected you will never experience the joy and satisfaction of a deep emotional and physical connection with another human being.
ScScoutNo smut lads
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once! 😉
Don't mind getting my fingers burnt, but getting my head kicked in gets me every time!! :~
jwjw19Ali-Bach lovely to see you dipping in again. Hope you're well? 😀
EVERYTHING is a very big word and it all depends on what your everything is, I believe any relationship has to have compromises:~
Ruth, is that like your relationship with a map has compromises? 😋😋
BGBustaGut (Grant)Well said Ruth - Nobody should have to give up everything. For a relationship to work one must compromise.🙂🙂
BBBrecon BeautyWell me and maps thats another forum😋😋
i would have given everything up to have a female partner but i was told i was to short to have a female partner but now i am to old to care.
MiMitchYou were told? by whom, the jolly green giant? I don't think size has anything to do with it Michemit.
MMMadMagMichemit, how awful someone's comments affected you so much. Nobody is perfect and definitely not the person who said that to you.
on 19/04/13 @ 8:52An ex once said I was too fat, I had another slice of cake,got rid of him, became voluptuous and have never looked back 😀
If you embrace who you are there will be no stopping you 🙂 🙂 Go out and have some fun
Mitchemit didnt you play out on any walks when we had lots of snow and ice,you would have had lots of girls falling at your feet, haha 😀
MoMorningdawnoh i have had lots fun and laughter along the way, i had to because i am that kind of a Guy, i love fun.
on 19/04/13 @ 9:44and most of all i love laughter.
MiMitch😀😀😀
MoMorningdawnI realise we can be a little superficial when it comes to height but I did date a shorter man for a short while and he was just as annoying as a tall man! 😈😈
Michemit you should never let one person's insecurities stop you from achieving what you want. You are a lovely fun person as all the ladies will see when they join one of your three weekends 😉🙂
Its the same for us girls Minty, there are a lot of blokes on this site who will specify, tall slim fit female wanted. Rules me out on all counts but that is there loss definitely not mine, they don't know what they are missing...🙂
MoMorningdawnPeople are entitled to their preferences, it just needs some diplomacy to avoid hurting others' feelings directly.
MMMadMagAlso there's a huge difference between fantasy and reality don't forget. I have almost come to terms with the fact that Paul Hollywood isn't gonna come for me one day,and that in real life the most attractive man is the one who treats me with kindness and respect, puts up with my moods, and above all makes me laugh! If i want to look up into his eyes i'm quite happy to sit down to do it 🙂
PDPear Drop (Sarah)NO NO NO!!!
loloopsbeen there done that. i left a good job, and moved 200 miles away from my parents and friends for my ex. i seemed to make all the sacrifices and gave it all. he gave nothing but crap. wont do it again
But loops, the next person may be entirely different!
MMMadMaghey Guys i didn't mean you to take my comments too seriously i was just stating personal facts saying how it was, and apart from that i really am so happy with my lot afterall maybe somewhat contradictory i was married and i do have 2 lovely kids.
MiMitchHaha like your tactics mitchemit 😀
MoMorningdawnI don't think you should ever 'give everything up'for anyone. You can change your situation and adapt lifestyle in order to be with someone but the things important to you in your life should never be 'given up' for another person.
JaJardindelmarYes, most definitely!
BlBluerayi did give everything up for a person i thought was the right one. turned out he wasn't. it's a chance you take, it may or may not work out. nothing is certain.
wswandering starWe still keep coming back to the same realisation that it shouldn't be a case of giving everything up but compromise on both parts because what could happen is something so much better together than it would have been apart. You're right ws nothing is certain, I guess we just have to decide if we're too old to take chances!
Your partner should enhance your life not replace a part of it. The reality is as we get knees we are less likely to compromise maybe. I for one think I am TMIW. 🙂
mimilvusKeith1, how lovely to hear a happy story, that made me 🙂.
on 24/04/13 @ 7:58I worry that having compromised far too much in the past, now I am older wiser and more cynical I am probably not willing enough to compromise and have become quite selfish. Need to find somebody to balance me out!!
ps milvus i am worried about your knees, am hoping this is a predictive text issue as I have knees too :~😀
PDPear Drop (Sarah)Me too 😀
You too old? Pull the other one Milvus. I am concerned about your train of thought though. If not knees what could this possibly be? We all get contented/selfish/lazy/bloody minded???!!!!
:~😈😈😈
Sadly Beatrix if you give things up for the wrong person, the person for whom you give up everything does not realise the sacrifice you have made for them.
ScScoutWhat's important is that you loved and gave and cared. You will love again. Meanwhile keeping climbing mountains 🙂
Its really hard to trust again after you have been hurt kn one or more occasion.But in my opinion its so worth the gamble if you find that special person😀ont stop believing because your scared of getting hurt because Thats a even bigger sacrifice x
on 26/04/13 @ 8:25Its really hard to trust again after you have been hurt kn one or more occasion.But in my opinion its so worth the gamble if you find that special person😀ont stop believing because your scared of getting hurt because Thats a even bigger sacrifice x
ADAlly & DaveI agree with you 100% Ally!
BlBlueray